There is a nice saying in English: “Where there is a will, there is a way.”. Yes, it is nice, but it is not correct, at least not always.
The will is only one of the elements decisive for success – your intention, that which would you like to express, the movement that you would like to make? Another element decisive for success or failure is at least as important, and is so often totally underestimated in its significance: the space in which you want to realize your will.
What does “space” mean?
The space is where an action happens. In the sense of physical space, this is easily understood: the kitchen, the living room, the office, the club, the car, the bed… – they are all spaces. But in the sense of the definition, people are also spaces: families, communities and societies.Our own body can in this sense also be seen as a space. In addition, social media is a space.
We know how to handle the limitations of physical spaces. Nobody would have the idea to go to a club to meditate or to listen to classical music. However, tt becomes much more difficult, if we expand the meaning of “space” to also include people.
If we have an issue that is important to us, and that we need to, yes have to, discuss urgently with our partner – how do we proceed? Well, often we do a “surprise attack” on our partner – without even for a moment analyzing if our partner is really receptive for what is important to us. Our will is there, loud and strong, but maybe the space (in this case our partner) is not open. Then nothing constructive can come out of this.
This happens in partnerships, in work situations, actually in all kinds of communication.
Can I perceive if the space of my partner, of the person that I want to interact with, is receptive of my will, or is it too narrow, too limited? And if it is too limited, what does that mean? Should I give up in frustration? Or does the possibility exist to wait for a better situation when it is more fitting, when the space can carry more? Or can I do something in order to relax the space, to prepare it, in order to allow it to grow? Or – which is often the case – do I do the opposite, do I reduce the space?
What is the situation on my dance floor?
My earlier teacher used the beautiful metaphor of the dance floor: we all dream that we can dance through our lives, full of joy and ease. But are we conscious of the status of our dance floor? Please don’t get me wrong: I am not talking about withdrawing to the Canadian wilderness in order to dance without being disturbed (except maybe by grizzly bears). No, it is normal that there are other dancers on the dance floor, this is how it should be. The question is only: with our actions, our activities – are we also conscious of the dance floor, are we taking care that it does not get too full? Or do we on the one hand intend to dance freely, but on the other hand fill up the dance floor? To then wonder why we are getting more and more stressed? As already mentioned, a club is not the right place to listen to classical music.